Sunday, December 1, 2013

The Single Woman's 30 Day Challenge - Day 1.

Recently, a friend of mine sent me to a site of a blogger that had the 30 day challenge for a single woman. She challenged me to read over it and think about opening myself up to putting my feelings in word form and write about it. I won't post every day and I'll do this at my own pace, but it'll be my story and my words and some of it will be funny, some of it will reveal my raw emotion, so bear with me.


Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”

Granted, I've not been single for very long (less than a year) - but this IS the longest I've been non-attached since the age of 18. Happens when you get married young and the first part of your adult life you're attached to the person you think you're going to spend your life with.  I've not been asked this until recently and since then, I've been asking myself that question.  When you first get divorced, you feel this empowerment to "make yourself a better person".  Thinking that the next relationship that you'll encounter will be better, more fulfilling, because you've worked on yourself and think you are a better representation of yourself.  Maybe this is true - goodness knows that I've learned a great deal about myself in the last year or so.

But why am I single?   The answer I gave the person that asked was a brush off.  I told her that I'm awesome and I haven't found someone that is as awesome as me to date.  I'm not settling, blah blah blah. It's mostly my self-esteem boosters that I feel the need to repeat to myself over and over to make me feel like the kick-ass woman I want to become.  

But why am I single?   The truth is - I haven't had the opportunity to meet someone who's truly worth it. I've dated, thought I had connections with people only for it to fade out after a handful of dates. I've recently given up online dating (that can be a harsh self-esteem killer) and realize that sometimes it's really not me.  It's them.  I'm overlooking key points about that person that I have in mind for my future partner in order to try to make something work and date and have fun.  Granted, I'm not in the marriage mindset, I just want to meet someone, develop a deep friendship and let that lead into more.  With time, it might happen.

Until then, I'll keep telling people that the reason I'm single is because I am awesome at it!  Because the longer I am, the more I realize that this is true.

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